Is it just me or do you guys sometimes feels like you’re disappearing as well? Well, if yes, that means I’m not alone in this fucked up world, which would be nice. I’m a senior in high school. I live in a dorm in Boca Raton, FL. I’ve been here since my freshman year and it’s getting harder day by day. I think the part that sucks the most is the being away from home part. Even though not having to see your parents everyday, and living with a bunch of teenagers can be fun most of the time, it can get a little repetitive and dull.
I see my friends all over the country that are seniors just like me, so ready to leave home for college. I feel I’m over the whole situation already. I mean, I’ve been living away from home for 4 years guys!! How crazy is that? It turned out completely different from what I thought it would be like at first. I mean, everyone should experience it at least once in their lives, but they shouldn’t be too eager to leave home so soon. I would do anything to go back in time and spend more time at home, with my family and friends. I think I left too early, I think that’s the problem.
I miss too many things about being home. I miss my mom taking care of me and making me soup when I got sick, I miss watching soccer with my dad, I miss having home cooked meals, I miss always having someone to support me when I was down. I just miss too much. I think when people think about moving out, they always focus on the good stuff, just like they should. But they often forget all the difficulties that it comes with. It is SO hard being so far from home. I didn’t know how attached I was until I left.
It’s become a habit of mine to disappoint everyone who gives a shit about me. Most of the time, I don’t even think about the things that I say or do, they just come out naturally and they turn out to be the worst possible think to do at that moment. I feel like an over-used, old, non-smart, phone. I feel like everyone around me keep getting all these new updates and for some reason I just keep missing all of them. I need a person, a life coach, to be by my side at all times, telling me what to say and do. I think that’s the only way I can survive. Otherwise… well I don’t know.
Writing is a part of me. I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember. It’s hard for me to find someone that I’m comfortable talking all this stuff about, so writing is just a way to rant for me. Just get everything I’ve been holding off my chest. You probably know what I’m talking about, everyone has different things that comfort them. Well, mine is writing.
I hope you guys’ life is going better than mine right now. Love you all