just me being pity

So I have become the worst kind of person. I am actually jealous of my friends… for having fun… without me.

So as most of you know, I live in a very strict boarding school so fun isn’t exactly in my vocabulary. But up until now, even though I had breakdowns along the way, I somehow managed to not care about what my friends are doing when I’m not there.

But today. I can’t do it today. Because today is prom. I mean, I could go to prom but I’m not really a big fan of it so I decided not to go, so that’s not what I’m bitching about. It’s the after party. All the seniors from my school are going to get together at someone’s house after prom and hang out. This makes me mad because even though I don’t like most of these people it’s really annoying that I can’t go, I am the only senior being left out of this.

I wish I had a normal high school experience. I am grateful for everything that I have but the things that I had to sacrifice are just too much. Like a few months ago we had a senior skip day so all the seniors got together and went to the beach, of course I couldn’t. Like it’s the little things like that that piss me off. I spend most of my time with these people so isn’t it normal that I wanna hang out with them outside of school? Isn’t it normal that I want to have a normal teenager life? Is that too much to ask???

I don’t get adults. How are they so stupid about this stuff as if they were never teenagers once. I wanna go out, I wanna do stupid things, make mistakes, ITS MY FUCKING LIFE GET OVER IT PLEASE.

Another things that makes me mad is that a lot of the adults around me don’t even realize how lucky they are that they have to deal with me instead of some 17 year old pregnant crackhead.

Whatever, I guess what I’m trying to say is I can’t wait for everyone to be off my shoulders in college. I hope you guys are having a fun week, I know I’m not.

Ada

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