end of an era

So today was the last day of my high school career. That still sounds weird to say out loud, that I’m officially done with high school. Like, I have no idea how I’m graduating. Seriously, I definitely, 100 percent don’t deserve it. Ask me how I made it through 4 years of hell, I don’t have an answer for you.

I started realizing all the small things that I did for the last time this past week. Like the last time I pulled an all-nighter, the last time I got detention, last time I begged my bio teacher to curve my 64 to a 90, last time I forgot to do my part of our team project, last time we stole candy from the principal’s office, last time we skipped class to hang out with cute boys.

If you know me, then you know that I absolutely hate goodbyes. Like, more than anyone ever should. Sometimes I avoid watching the last episode of a series just cause the goodbye is too painful (did Rachel get off the plane??? I wouldn’t know), or I won’t read the last chapter of a book because I’m too scared I won’t be satisfied with the ending.

Being done with high school basically just means that I’m back to the beginning, once more. I’m not a senior anymore, I’m a freshman, bottom of the college food chain. I’ll never go to high school ever again, never be a high school senior. But I think I’ll always feel like that girl, but I’ll never actually be “her”, you know what I mean? A part of me will still be that average teenage girl that got pushed around a lot.

So all in all what I mean is today was the end of an era in my life, and I’m moving onto the next one. Do you guys feel like as if you were in a video game and every major event that happen in your life is the checkpoint to level up?? Yeah… me too. So every time we finish a chapter we have this huge celebration and for like… 5 minutes there… our lives just feel completely and utterly perfect. And then we have to start the next chapter which is even harder but the celebration is that much bigger and more satisfying. So we fight with every bone in our bodies to get through that chapter too, and it’s just a never-ending-cycle (up until the you know… the ACTUAL end).

Right about now, I’m feeling the party around me start to settle, the celebrations to quiet down, and life to get back to normal. So this time I can do it right, because now I’m older, more experienced, but not necessarily wiser. I don’t know what’s gonna happen next, but I sure am excited to see.

xoxo

 

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